written by Laurie Lafortune
One thing that parents never expect is how much worry it is to look after a baby. So many things can go wrong and there seem to be so many pitfalls. It’s the uncertainty – you just never know what each day will bring. Because the baby is growing and changing so quickly, just when you think you have it all figured out something changes.
The baby is breathing noisily through his nose, OR the baby is breathing so softly that you keep checking to make sure he’s still alive.
He’s crying a lot, OR he’s not crying much
He wants to be held all the time. OR he cries even when you cuddle him.
He’s pooping all the time, OR he hasn’t pooped for 2 days,
He’s falling asleep before he finishes feeding. OR he seems to sleep hardly at all!
He’s always hungry, OR it seems like he’s not getting enough…
So what’s a new parent supposed to do? What’s the right thing?
Most parents say they get advice from their doctor about the baby’s growth and development, but we don’t see doctors that often. So, parents go on-line. But going on line for answers can sometimes make you worry even more! There are so many opinions, and so many potential problems, illnesses, and condition that people describe that it can give you even more things to worry about. If you do get your health and development advice on-line, be sure you are at a reputable, credible website. Try the health region websites or provincial health websites. Avoid sponsored sites-they might try to create a new worry or need in you to get you to buy their product. Remember, anyone can post anything! There is just too much information! And lots of it is wrong, not helpful, or even unsafe.
If you prefer written material and books about baby care, your health region will have pamphlets and recommended reading. Ask if there is something that contains “when to call the doctor, “red flags, things to be concerned about, what’s normal and what’s not, or something along those lines. Because that is really why new parents worry.
Most provinces have a health line that you can call and ask questions about anything related to health. Health care professionals answer these, and no question is considered unimportant. Whenever I’ve called them, I’ve been treated in a very professional and friendly way, with the feeling that they are willing to take all the time I need. In Alberta, you just dial 811.
Other help is available from public health nurses, home visitors and midwives who will come to your home to pay a visit. You can ask them about all your concerns and questions. Family Services of Central Alberta has home visitors that can help or call your local social services or community services to see if there is a support service like this available for you as a new parent.
Although some baby care advice has changed over time, grandparents can be a real help. Hopefully, they won’t want to interfere with how you are doing things, and so they might not offer information, but if you ask their opinion, they’ll be glad to talk. You might as well take advantage of their wisdom, and hear about their mistakes.
But I think one of the most helpful things for a new parent is to have friends who are young parents, too. This gives you a support network of experienced parents to talk things over with. I remember learning how to swaddle like a pro from a friend who had three children before I had my first. The relief that gave my overstimulated crying baby was so soothing, to both him, and me.
So try not to worry too much, remember that we were all babies once, and we survived. And don’t be afraid to ask questions. No one expects you to be an expert in this new, overwhelming role.
You (and your baby) will be just fine!